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To my future wife,
I found myself thinking about you today. Wondering where you are, what you’re thinking and doing. It hurts a little not to be with you, but I can live with that for now, knowing that we’ll spend the rest of our lives together. I’m writing this letter to help you understand what I’ve been thinking about and why. I probably don’t know all the right things to say, but my feelings and words are from the heart.
Actually I find myself thinking about you more and more. The very idea of you provides a much needed break from the pressures of dating, relationships and life. In the midst of it all – the thought of you calms and refreshes me – makes me smile, in spite of my situation and surroundings.
I know it sounds crazy, but I picture you – your smile, the way you pull your hair behind your ear, your wonderful laugh, even when my jokes aren’t funny. I can’t help but wonder what our children will look like.
I’ve gone out with other girls, but something always seems to be missing. I go out and have fun but the idea of you and our future together is always in my thoughts. It keeps me focused and on track, aware of who I am and what’s important.
And loving you, without ever having met you, makes me want to be deserving of your love. So I wait for you – in mind, body, and soul.
I don’t usually talk or write like this, but my mind and heart are racing with anticipation. Because I love you, because I know you’re out there. Because the very thought of you makes my pulse race, my palms sweat, my stomach flip like I’m on a roller coaster. And what better way to show that I’ve always loved you than to save myself for you – completely. And I hope that you’re doing the same.
I know waiting isn’t easy. We’re taught to expect instant gratification. We’re told we shouldn’t have to wait – for anything. Too often we act on feelings or impulses, sacrificing the future by buying into the lie that sex equals love, leaving little room for commitment or marriage. But that’s not love and that’s not why I’m thinking about and waiting for you.
I’m waiting for you because I love you unconditionally. And I need you to know that what matters to me is not where you’ve been or what you’ve done, but where you’re going. Maybe you didn’t know I existed. Or you thought that we’d found each other, only to realize later that what you discovered wasn’t true love. Real love is so different from infatuation or simple pleasure. It isn’t abusive or selfish or purely physical. Real love involves mutual respect, affection, trust, equality, and a shared spirituality. Real love doesn’t revolve around sex! Real love grows into a relationship where sexual intimacy will only serve to express that love – marriage.
I talked with a friend the other day about chastity – modesty and purity in our thoughts, words, the way we dress and act – how it’s a building block for a perfect love that casts out all fear. And sex before marriage brings many fears – pregnancy, STDs, the emotional scars associated with broken relationships. So, in the search for perfect love, it only makes sense to practice chastity and wait until you’re married to give yourself to the person you love. And --- OUR marriage will bring with it the promise of forever. We will give ourselves to one another completely, become best friends – soul mates. So even though we may be apart right now, by living chastely for each other in the present we can build our future together.
Have you ever been in the middle of doing something when you stop to think, “This would be perfect if….?” Those words come to mind often – for example, on a Fall day, with leaves covering the ground and crisp, cool breezes blowing, and I think, “This would be perfect if…. She were here.” The thought that someday you will be here comforts me.
And… I want that same thought to comfort you. Whether you realize it or not, I’ve been there in your thoughts, that shiver or the goose bumps you get every once in a while – in the long daydream or a lingering glance. You don’t have to wonder anymore, because I’m real, I love you and I am waiting for you – in every way. And now that you know I’m here, I hope you’ll do the same. Whenever you feel scared, unsure, or pressured to give a part of yourself away, read this letter. Think about us and how perfect it will be when we are together.
You may have been waiting and looking for me all the while. You may be starting today. Either way, we’ll know when we’ve found each other; we’ll be together for the rest of our lives and the wait will have been worthwhile.
All My Love,
Your Future Husband
© 2009 - 08 Jan (Ben Ditzel)